When you’ve been in the “business” of education for as long as I have, you see (and dry) a few crocodile tears. Students, young and old, as well as adults, staff and parents, are apt to shed a few tears. While some are legitimate (true heartbreak or true regret over a poor decision), many are about as real as the Louis Vuitton handbags you can buy on Canal Street in New York’s Chinatown. Sorry.
For a period, I served as a mediator for special education disputes. I was called to facilitate the mediation process when parents and school systems found themselves at odds over services and supports for children identified under the federal law, IDEA. Mediation training prepared me for crocodile tears and lots of other drama and, possibly, physical altercations. During training I thought that this couldn’t possibly be real, but surprisingly, during my three years as a mediator, I saw it all.
Even today I have vivid images of the mother who set up a tri-fold display of photos of her daughter right in the middle of the table around which we, opposing sides and the mediator, were gathered. When I turned the photos face down (as we were taught to do in mediation training – no trying to muddy the waters with emotions, just stick to the facts), the mom immediately began to “cry.” I moved the process along, as I had been trained, without acknowledging her “tears.” So, she “cried” louder. I continued the process and pushed a box of Kleenex in her direction. (Prepared mediators always traveled with a box of Kleenex. THAT lesson was part of the training.) She added physical elements to her “crying,” groaning and body jerks. I continued the process. She laid her head on the table and pounded her fist while still “crying” and now gasping for air. I asked, “Do we need to take a break?”
Mom immediately sat up and turned her mascara-smeared face directly toward me and said, “No! You are a cold —– who obviously does not care about my beautiful daughter!” And in that very instance the “crying” stopped. She added, “Nothing works with you!”
Yep, crocodile tears!
As Christians, we cry our fair share of crocodile tears, too. We always have. The book of Judges bears testimony of such. Its chapters and verses reveal patterns of rebellion, punishment, repentance and deliverance – a cycle of apostasy. Indeed, the Old Testament relays several incidences when the children of Israel “cried” to the Lord (Judges 6:7, 3:9, 4:3; Jeremiah 9:1-3; Exodus 14:10, 3:7). Sometimes they, like the mom during mediation, “groaned” (Exodus 2:23). But as we read account after account of the people crying and groaning to the Lord and their liberation from enemies and deliverance from persecution, we must wonder about the sincerity of those “cries” and true remorse for their sin.
While we are wondering about the children of Israel, we might wonder about ourselves, too – our crying out for deliverance only to return ourselves to sinful situations, sinful thinking and sinful acts. Do we beg, plead, cry out to God offering “deals” and promises to “never do this again,” to “stop seeing this person” or “give up this bad habit” to be delivered and only return later to the place (pattern, habit, thinking, behavior) where we were before? How genuine is our grief and, even more importantly, our repentance? True repentance involves a change of heart and a change in purpose and, subsequently, a change in behavior.
As you wonder, are you truly repentant or just shedding crocodile tears?
Biblical Repentance: https://www.gty.org/resources/articles/A330/what-is-biblical-repentance